More times than often I find myself comparing myself to others because it is so very easy to do. The problem with focusing on other people’s gifts and successes are that it allows us to lose focus of our own. The longer we stare at other people, the more we lose sight of who we are. I had a best friend in high school; she loved my style. So much that when I shared where I bought my clothes, she would go out and buy the same clothes in the same colors. She even went as far as to purchase the same eye glasses that I wore. I was so upset with her! I no longer felt like an individual; I started to feel like I had this annoying little twin sister tied to my hip. I also felt bad for her because I wanted her to express who she really was! I mean why does it feel so awkward when you arrive at a party, and someone else is wearing the same outfit as you. I believe it’s because we were created to be individuals all with different individual purposes. When someone else shows up representing us, it feels like someone is robbing us of our identity.
I wanted to take a moment to clarify the difference between getting inspiration from someone’s look versus comparing yourself to another person. When you compare yourself to someone else you can put on all the same clothes as the person you are comparing yourself to and do one of two different things;
- Look in the mirror and say “I am too fat” or “I am too short” or “I don’t have nice arms” etc. You have compared yourself to that person and now have a bad perception of self.
- Look in the mirror and think to yourself, I look amazing because I look like “so & so”. For me in high school, it was Paula Abdul. Wow, it was a huge confidence boost when people said I looked like her. It was a confidence boost in trying to look like her and not in who I truly was.
In both situations, you are moving further away from your individual style.
For me when I go to get inspiration from a look, I create an outline and fill in the blanks with my personal style. For example in last Friday’s post, I loved the big chunky sweater paired with the shorter skirt and short boots. It was my outline, so I filled in the blanks with my favorite chunky soft sweater, bold skirt and soft short boots that I love. Sometimes I see a look, and I absolutely love the color scheme or the textures of the materials, I will take those elements and make my look. Sometimes, I may absolutely love the cut of a blouse or skirt, and I will go out and buy that exact piece of clothing and add my twist to it. Inspiration is all about getting the creative juices flowing! The comparison is all about deception. To find your individual style always “Be Inspired Not Deceived!
Love in abundance,